Since my Uncle Alan died in 2009, the health of my Nan has rapidly gone down hill.
She found him in the garden were they both lived, face down in the compost heap, it was a massive heart attack and no one could have save him, but my Nan still blames her self, thinking if she had gone out earlier she could have saved him.
She also found my Grandad, about 10 years ago, he died in his sleep and she woke to find that he had past away.
She has been through so much in her life and didn’t particularly have a happy marriage.
She is now 84, after being in and out of hospital, she has today 14 May 2011, been moved to a hospice. I was there when she was moved and when the consultant told her she was going to die soon, she looked over at me and said she didn’t want to die. All I could do was hold her hand, and tell her it was going to be ok. She didn’t want me to leave but I had to go, told her my mum would visit tomorrow, she said that ” I will be dead by then”.
At the moment I am not sure how I am feeling, I have not cried or got upset. I seemed to have become quite resistant to hurt and don’t/won’t let my self cry.
She is staying at The Heart of Kent Hospice is a registered charity specialising in palliative care for the people of Maidstone. They have a specialist team offers skilled care, comfort, compassion and hope to people facing the challenge of terminal illness. It seems like a lovely place, her room over looks a garden, that has squirrels in it, so it’s the best place for her, but she know she has gone there to die and she is so scared.
And the following day Sunday 15th May my Nan past away, my mum was there but left the room briefly and when she went back my Nan had past away. RIP Nan I will never forget you. Now you are with Uncle Alan and Grandad.
Along side this My husband’s Mum, has been diagnosed with Cancer on 11 May 2011, she had breast cancer 16 years ago, and had the all clear for years, now it’s seems it’s returned and has spread to bones, liver, lungs they will start chemotherapy in two weeks, to try to slow things down.
A week after my Nan past away on the 22 May 2011, Mike’s mum also past away.
So Charlie will never see his Nanny Barbara again, this is very sad.
